The repulsor whine grew to a high-pitched, deafening scream as Tony raised his gauntlet, aiming a concentrated pulse straight at Jack’s chest.
"Fire on my mark!" Tony commanded his drones.
PZZZZT!
Before Tony’s finger could twitch on the trigger, Jack pulled a bright yellow rubber chicken from beneath his velvet jacket and squeezed it with all his might.
SCREEEEEEEEEECH!
The high-decibel, obnoxious noise echoed through the enclosed steel vault like an air horn in a quiet library.
Tony instinctively flinched, his eyes widening in pure disbelief for a fraction of a second—and that split second was all Jack needed.
Jack dropped into a absurdly low crab-walk, weaving across the slick floor with erratic, twitchy speed. Fueled by [35.0% SYNCHRONIZATION], his body moved in ways that defied normal human physics, breaking every standard martial arts line Tony’s targeting algorithms were trained to predict.
"Target locked! Fire!" Tony yelled, adjusting his grip.
The eight automated combat drones swooped down, their red targeting lasers tracking Jack's erratic path. The lead drone fired a burst of stun-bolts right where Jack's head was a millisecond prior—except Jack had just executed a ridiculous, high-velocity somersault over a display case housing an antique Stark Industries bomb casing!
BANG-BANG-BANG!
The stun-bolts slammed harmlessly into the display glass. Jack landed right on top of the glass case, balancing on one foot while pulling out a pair of highly reflective, chrome-plated circus mirrors he’d pinched from the Coney Island boardwalk.
"Over here, metallic boys! Catch the sparkle!" Jack rasped, spinning the mirrors in wild, dazzling circles.
The bright stadium arc-lights reflected off the chrome surfaces, bouncing blinding beams directly into the optical sensors of the lead drones! The automated targeting AI flickered, confused by its own light signatures.
"FRIDAY, override manual targeting!" Tony snapped, lunging forward with a repulsor blast.
"Unable to acquire clean signal, Boss," FRIDAY’s voice crackled through the local vault speakers. "Sensors are detecting multiple ghost targets due to optical distortion."
"That's because I'm everywhere, Anthony!" Jack cackled, diving off the glass case into a sliding roll right between the legs of a hovering drone.
As he slid underneath, Jack reached up with a small, high-powered magnet attached to a string of firecrackers, slapping it directly onto the underside of Drone #1. He gave the string a sharp yank as he popped back up to his feet!
POP-POP-POP-POP-POP!
Small firecrackers began popping on Drone #1’s chassis. The adjacent drones, detecting a threat originating from Drone #1, instantly misidentified it as an enemy projectile source!
BZZZZZT!
Drone #2 turned on Drone #1, blasting it with a high-voltage taser wire! The resulting electrical arc short-circuited Drone #3, which spun out of control and slammed violently into Drone #4, sending both of them crashing into Tony’s pristine glass-encased tennis trophy cabinet!
CRASH-KLUNK!
"My trophies!" Tony yelled, shielding his face as glass and metal debris rained down around him. "Stop shooting each other, you useless pieces of junk!"
Meanwhile, Natasha and Felicia were moving with terrifying efficiency. Taking advantage of the utter chaos Jack had created, Felicia leaped onto the remaining drone, planting a micro-charge on its rotor blade before flipping off onto a steel girder. Natasha fired two precise non-lethal rubber rounds into the drone control node mounted on the far wall, causing the remaining three units to spark, spin in circles like dizzy tops, and crash into the floor.
Within ninety seconds, Tony’s high-tech, level-five ambush had been reduced to a smoking heap of broken electronics, shattered glass, and popping firecrackers.
Jack stood in the center of the room, leaning on a crowbar like a cane, breathing heavily as a raspy, uncontrollable giggle escaped his lips.
"Ten out of ten for the dramatics, Tony!" Jack gasped, wiping a bead of sweat from his forehead. "Though I think your drones need a few more driving lessons!"
Tony lowered his gauntlet, looking around at his ruined vault, then back at Jack. Despite himself, a mix of absolute irritation and grudging disbelief washed over his face.
"You're insane," Tony breathed out, shaking his head. "You turned a military-grade security grid into a three-ring circus."
"That's the point, darling!" Felicia purred, vaulting down from the ceiling rafters to land beside Jack, holding a stolen velvet bag full of Stark's private prototype arc-reactors. "And now... we'll be taking the souvenirs!"
Before Tony could re-arm his gauntlet, Jack tossed a giant, pink novelty smoke bomb onto the floor.
PFFFT-BOOOOOOM!
A thick, strawberry-scented purple fog filled the room, completely blocking out the stadium lights. By the time Tony used his suit's fan filters to clear the haze ten seconds later, the three-ton blast door had been blown open from the outside using Felicia's thermite, and the vault was completely empty.
All that remained in the center of the room was a bright red lipstick mark on the Mark I armor display glass, along with a tiny, rubber duck wearing a tiny Iron Man helmet.
Current Status:
Synchronization Level: 35.0% (Grand Quest Progress: 1/2 Completed)
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