Jack swung back and forth on the iron pipe, the yellow Post-it note glued to his palm by a thick layer of sweat, oil, and theatrical paste. Down below, Frank Castle stepped over a pile of fractured glass, his M4 carbine scanning the shadows with cold, military discipline.
"I know you're up there, clown," Frank growled, his jaw tight. "Come down before I start spraying the roof with steel."
"Oh, Frankie! Don't be so dramatic!" Jack rasped from above, his bloodshot eyes sparkling with madness. "I brought you a gift! It's personal, it's heart-felt, and it's adhesive!"
Before Frank could aim upward, a sudden THWIP-THWIP echoed through the broken skylight above!
A red-and-blue figure swung through the ceiling, doing a smooth mid-air flip and landing softly on top of a giant fibreglass clown statue.
"Hey, Castle! Hey, Jack!" Spider-Man called out, adjusting his suit's wrists. "I followed the trail of lavender fabric and Aunt May's cookie crumbs all the way from Midtown. Jack, my aunt wants her tupperware back, and Frank, you really need to stop threatening people in carnival rides."
"Mind your own business, kid," Frank spat without looking up, his gun still aimed toward the rafters. "He's mine."
"Your business?!" Jack cackled, dropping from the pipe and landing directly between the two of them with a loud THUD. "This is EVERYBODY'S business! Welcome to the main event, boys!"
[CURRENT ACTIVE QUESTS]
"Kick Me, Frankie": Stick the "I ❤️ Clowns" note onto Frank Castle's tactical skull vest (0/1).
"Bug Spray": Catch Spider-Man mid-air with a party streamer gun (0/1).
"Jack, stay down!" Spidey yelled, leaping off the statue to web Jack's hands to the floor.
THWIP!
Jack's [21.0% SYNCHRONIZATION] kicked in like a blast of high-voltage electricity. His reflexes twitched with violent, unnatural speed. He ducked under the webbing, grabbed a brass party streamer gun from his lavender coat pocket, and aimed it directly up at the swinging web-slinger!
POP-FOOF!
A massive, high-pressure cloud of neon-pink and silver streamers erupted into the air, tangling entirely around Spider-Man's torso and limbs mid-flight!
"WHOA! HEY! What is this, confetti?!" Spidey yelled, losing his balance and crashing into a pile of oversized stuffed prizes.
[QUEST OBJECTIVE COMPLETED: "Bug Spray"]
Catch Spider-Man mid-air with a party streamer gun: COMPLETED!
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BUG BOY!" Jack shrieked in triumph, spinning around instantly to face Frank Castle.
Frank had already drawn his sidearm, pulling the trigger at point-blank range—BANG!
Thanks to [Jester’s Glass Body], the heavy kinetic impact of the rubber-coated training bullet hit Jack straight in the sternum, but instead of knocking him down, Jack's body absorbed the shock, causing a bizarre physical counter-bounce! Jack flew forward at double speed, slamming right into Frank's chest!
THWACK!
"WHAT THE—" Frank gasped, staggered by the sheer, unyielding momentum of the clown's rubbery leap.
In that single, chaotic second of contact, Jack slapped his palm firmly against the back of Frank's tactical vest!
SLAP!
[QUEST OBJECTIVE COMPLETED: "Kick Me, Frankie"]
Stick note onto Frank Castle's vest: COMPLETED!
[QUEST PROGRESS: "THE SUICIDE SHOWMANSHIP"]
Progress: (2/3 Objectives Done)
Jack bounced backward off Frank's body, landing gracefully on his feet while pointing at Frank's back.
"LOOKING GOOD, FRANKIE! REALLY ACCENTUATES YOUR SKULL!" Jack cackled uncontrollably, his raspy laugh triggering the secondary effect of [Jester’s Glass Body]. The disorienting, psychic echo of his screeching laughter bounced off the surrounding mirror walls, making both Frank and Spider-Man hold their heads in a sudden burst of vertigo.
"Ugh... my head... why is his laugh vibrating inside my teeth?!" Spidey groaned, trying to disentangle himself from pink streamers.
Frank blinked through the sudden dizzy spell, reaching behind his back to pull off the sticky note. He looked at the scrawled red handwriting: "I ❤️ CLOWNS (Shoot me!)".
Frank's vein on his forehead throbbed so violently it looked ready to burst. "You... absolute... lunatic."
"TWO DOWN, ONE TO GO!" Jack yelled, grabbing a carnival smoke bomb from his pocket and pulling the pin with his teeth. "NEXT STOP: STEALING CAPTAIN AMERICA'S SHIELD FOR A PIZZA PARTY IN Times Square! HAHAHAHA!"
BOOM-PFFFT!
Thick purple smoke engulfed the Hall of Mirrors. By the time Frank cleared his eyes and Spidey tore through the last streamer, Jack had already dived out the broken back window into the rainy night air.
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